How many DINKs here?

SINK here.. glad none of my ex's got pregnant or at least I should say, kept it...
50 this year. still pretty convinced it was the right choice. However that's probably down to the lack of "belonging" I grew up with. Been pretty happy being single TBH.
do I forsee an issue when elderly and having no one around, sure but doubt I'll live that long with the years of toxic crap I've breathed in throughout my life doing what I do..
 
adidan said:
Even if people do regret it later in life they can foster or adopt.

Plenty of kids out there who need a good homes after being born to people who can't parent.
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We adopted a Bosnian rescue boy. It's been lovely being able to give him a home. Breaks my heart seeing pics of him before. And all the others out there. This is a dog!

Adoption is an amazing thing.
 
413x said:
We adopted a Bosnian rescue boy. It's been lovely being able to give him a home. Breaks my heart seeing pics of him before. And all the others out there. This is a dog!

Adoption is an amazing thing.
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:cry:

It did make me realise though that my post may have been to harshly generalising as there are all sorts of reasons children end up needing a new family.
 
413x said:
I don't think it's doom mongering to be very concerned about potential kids future.
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It absolutely isn't. The future looks extremely bleak.

AI and automation will not make anyone's lives better and free up time. The increase in productivity only ever goes into the pockets of the already obscenely wealthy.

House prices continue to be absurd, which only serves to make banks money. If you literally think about how absurd mortages and house prices are it is horrible and rage inducing.

It's pretty unrealistic to ever expect to live a reasonable middle class lifestyle with kids, with only one parent earning the national average wage. Western society has descended into a horrible state where two full time earners are sorely needed, unless one parent has a really well paying job.
 
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adam cool dude said:
Our mortgage will be finished when we are 40 and 1 of my children will have flown the nest and the second one at a decent age where it doesn't really matter financially.
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I'd suggest this isn't exactly a typical position for many people to be in.

Now put yourself in the shoes of someone who is stuck renting, and so at the mercy of a landlord's whims as to whether they can provide a stable home for their children. Or a couple on low incomes who can't afford a) childcare or b) for one of them to stop working for 3 years. Or a couple who both have careers they enjoy and neither of whom want to throw away their years of hard work to become a stay-at-home parent, and you can easily see why some people decide it's not for them.
 
Haggisman said:
I'd suggest this isn't exactly a typical position for many people to be in.

Now put yourself in the shoes of someone who is stuck renting, and so at the mercy of a landlord's whims as to whether they can provide a stable home for their children. Or a couple on low incomes who can't afford a) childcare or b) for one of them to stop working for 3 years. Or a couple who both have careers they enjoy and neither of whom want to throw away their years of hard work to become a stay-at-home parent, and you can easily see why some people decide it's not for them.
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Yeah. For us my mortgage at 37 is tad over 200k

With not having kids I hope to have that paid off in 15-20 years

If things go well, Hopefully sooner.

If added kids into the mix would be looking at 25 years.
 
adam cool dude said:
You get to that point in your early 50's where you have seen everything and done everything where you feel lost but by then it is too late.
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Do you?
I must have missed that meeting... but I'm glad to know that people who have not even hit 40 themselevs are around to tell those in their mid-50s how things are. Meanwhile, my in-laws are in their mid-70s and still finding a plethora of things to go see and do.

platinum87 said:
The overwhelming majority of you will regret not having children, i dont believe your reasoning is sound, things like cost or time, or wanting to enjoy various things like holidays and so forth are just excuses.
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Excuses for what? Is having children a requirement?
The majority of parents I've spoken to have said they love their kids, but if they got the chance to change it they'd have stayed without and done more to enjoy their lives.
 
Is worrying about finances a cop out?
That was my go-to "not wanting kids" excuse when I was much younger. Career and financial stability were pre requisites.
That doesn't seem to be for everyone either? Plenty of irresponsible parents just pumping them out to cover the shortfall in my lack of offspring.
 
adam cool dude said:
You get to that point in your early 50's where you have seen everything and done everything where you feel lost but by then it is too late.
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Whereas people who do have kids get to that point in their early 50's and realise they haven't had a chance to do a fraction of the things they wanted to, but by then it's too late. Hell, I'm a few months shy of 40 and already starting to realise that there are some things that are just unfeasible for me to achieve now.

ttaskmaster said:
The majority of parents I've spoken to have said they love their kids, but if they got the chance to change it they'd have stayed without and done more to enjoy their lives.
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It's a compromise either way to be honest. Both sides are "missing out" on something, but also gaining something else, and it's just down to the individual which way they want to go.
 
Haggisman said:
It's a compromise either way to be honest. Both sides are "missing out" on something, but also gaining something else, and it's just down to the individual which way they want to go.
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It's only 'missing out' if you actually want kids, though. If you really don't want the massive responsibilities and costs of trying to raise kids into decent adults, then it's nothing to worry about.
 
platinum87 said:
The overwhelming majority of you will regret not having children, i dont believe your reasoning is sound, things like cost or time, or wanting to enjoy various things like holidays and so forth are just excuses.

Several threads over the years there is either a claim to want to not have children, or that people are introverted, yet at the same time exists long term relationships, friends and family.

I think these things are just contrary and i believe you guys are fooling yourselves.
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I've always seen you as a teenager in my mind :p obviously not as you speak with conviction and I guess family experience.
You must be in your 40s is 87 is your year in username choice.
What gives you the drive to need children?
Religious background? Small community?
Traditional parents? Extended family?

My grandparents were all dead by the time I was 16. This has probably had a profound effect on me regarding having my own family
I never see my cousin's either.

This is turning into a self help session.
 
ttaskmaster said:
It's only 'missing out' if you actually want kids, though. If you really don't want the massive responsibilities and costs of trying to raise kids into decent adults, then it's nothing to worry about.
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You're still "missing out" on the positive aspects of having kids, it's just that for the individual in question, the negatives you've listed outweigh them.
 
Haggisman said:
Whereas people who do have kids get to that point in their early 50's and realise they haven't had a chance to do a fraction of the things they wanted to, but by then it's too late. Hell, I'm a few months shy of 40 and already starting to realise that there are some things that are just unfeasible for me to achieve now.
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We spent a good chunk of our late 20's and 30's getting everything we wanted to do, done. Hence i've definitely started late, 44 this year, son was 6 this week and looking at having another next year.

I was easy going, happy to have kids if the opportunity presented but wasn't always driven to start a family. However now we have the family, only thing we would change that we'd have started maybe 2 or 3 years earlier as it's definitely harder work when you're older :D
 
There's also the fact that, for men, you can have kids at pretty much any age and if you have any value about you, finding a younger partner to have kids with once you're in your 40s and even 50s isn't that difficult. My social circle isn't even that wide and I know of quite a few relationships that are set up that way, with the man being much older.
 
SixTwoSix said:
We spent a good chunk of our late 20's and 30's getting everything we wanted to do, done. Hence i've definitely started late, 44 this year, son was 6 this week and looking at having another next year.

I was easy going, happy to have kids if the opportunity presented but wasn't always driven to start a family. However now we have the family, only thing we would change that we'd have started maybe 2 or 3 years earlier as it's definitely harder work when you're older :D
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This is, I guess, one of the big issues.
I'm a decade later than you. I've started doing the things I want to do in my 30s. Same goes for a lot of people.

So you have the choice of kids or other things (travel is a big one).

Simply not the time to do both got many if you want your own kids.



Even though men can have kids biologically later, I can't imagine how hard it is if you're 50s for example.
 
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