#MeToo - is it just different for men and women?

Roar87 said:
So now it's gone from speaking about a celebratory kiss between 2 adults to being the coach for young girls, a completely different scenario which includes minors? What???? Do you think these arguments win over anyone?
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its the same kind of relationship the person has with the minor.....
 
arknor said:
its the same kind of relationship the person has with the minor.....
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You're making daft false equivalencies. He didn't do it to any other player, they were clearly close with each other working towards a goal which they achieved, and she's a lesbian, doesn't come across as an attraction thing for him. She has both arms around him, she's smiling at the end of the interaction, doesn't look like a women that is shocked and uncomfortable. Not to say that she wasn't a little bit uncomfortable and was keeping her cool, probably the case actually. But i find it hard to believe that she is this vindictive from that interaction on camera. What's happened is she's has been whipped up by people around her afterwards. Gone with it and can't really go back.
 
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I thought Latin Europeans were a bit more touchy feely compared to their Northern European brethren?

In any case it seems more like a will to cancel the guy than anything else. It was just a peck but can't look a gift horse in the mouth when it comes to ammunition. If she had her arms around him he could just as easily say he didn't like that.
 
And yet not a murmur of criminal action surrounding Justin Bieber's multiple incidents....

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As per thread title - Is it a double standard then?
 
Trusty said:
You're making daft false equivalencies. He didn't do it to any other player, they were clearly close with each other working towards a goal which they achieved, and she's a lesbian, doesn't come across as an attraction thing for him. She has both arms around him, she's smiling at the end of the interaction, doesn't look like a women that is shocked and uncomfortable. Not to say that she wasn't a little bit uncomfortable and was keeping her cool, probably the case actually. But i find it hard to believe that she is this vindictive from that interaction on camera. What's happened is she's has been whipped up by people around her afterwards. Gone with it and can't really go back.
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Think this is a great example of what many psychologists and sociologists point at in terms of the hysterical thinking that is causing far more harm to children - eg how many children are killed by 'swimming coaches' vs how many are killed by an entire generation being coddled (ie suicide and depression) - see Jonathan Haidt for a lifetime's work on this.

He has pecked her on the lips, not groomed her as a paedophile - she is neither a child, nor is he a paedophile - the link is completely irrational and is a symptom of the a-scientific mindsets that riddle this topic. I mean if I screamed paedo and court case every time when I was growing up a boy wolf whistled or pinched my bum in a club - and I was an ugly bugly!

The number one cause of death for young men is now themselves - and this is far more serious and based in fact than any of this nonsense wasting court time. I feel a lot for young men who have to try and learn how to approach girls as if they're perfect, otherwise face criminal charges. Growing up is messy and everyone screws up - I always felt perfectly capable of having a firm word with someone who overstepped the mark. The idea of needing police and court protection is bonkers....
 
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katie279 said:
Think this is a great example of what many psychologists and sociologists point at in terms of the hysterical thinking that is causing far more harm to children - eg how many children are killed by 'swimming coaches' vs how many are killed by an entire generation being coddled (ie suicide and depression) - see Jonathan Haidt for a lifetime's work on this.

He has pecked her on the lips, not groomed her as a paedophile - she is neither a child, nor is he a paedophile - the link is completely irrational and is a symptom of the a-scientific mindsets that riddle this topic. I mean if I screamed paedo and court case every time when I was growing up a boy wolf whistled or pinched my bum in a club - and I was an ugly bugly!

The number one cause of death for young men is now themselves - and this is far more serious and based in fact than any of this nonsense wasting court time. I feel a lot for young men who have to try and learn how to approach girls as if they're perfect, otherwise face criminal charges. Growing up is messy and everyone screws up - I always felt perfectly capable of having a firm word with someone who overstepped the mark. The idea of needing police and court protection is bonkers....
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The main reason this has been blown out of proportion is because Spain has a massive problem with a sexist culture amongst men, and he's feeling the affects of the push back that's happening there now.

And although they do seem very touchy freely compared to us, kissing on the lips is a big no no there without permission.
 
i-bert said:
The main reason this has been blown out of proportion is because Spain has a massive problem with a sexist culture amongst men, and he's feeling the affects of the push back that's happening there now.

And although they do seem very touchy freely compared to us, kissing on the lips is a big no no there without permission.
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I think what Spain has is a politically fueled witch hunt that's managed to find a man wearing a rubber nose and decided to make an example out of him by burning him at the stake. I'm not sure anyone should be made an example out of, this is a terrible way to go about enacting justice.
 
Personally him losing his job and the public shame is enough.

I wouldn’t press criminal charges with a good conscience, as I would be aware his intent wasn’t that of malice. Just a clumsy middle age man who got a bit too excited in the heat of the moment.
 
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I was in a recovery meeting the other day. Most of us are in are 40s and 50s. There was a lady who had her 21yo daughter waiting for her mother outside. 1 of the guys in his 50s called the woman's daughter 'beautiful'. He's a really friendly lovely guy. But I personally thought it might be offensive, but the daughter and mother didn't have an issue and were friendly with all of us
 
ANDREW GREEN said:
I was in a recovery meeting the other day. Most of us are in are 40s and 50s. There was a lady who had her 21yo daughter waiting for her mother outside. 1 of the guys in his 50s called the woman's daughter 'beautiful'. He's a really friendly lovely guy. But I personally thought it might be offensive, but the daughter and mother didn't have an issue and were friendly with all of us
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Women like being told they look nice in a normal way, why would this be offensive? It's concerning that you think you're not allowed to tell a woman she's beautiful lol
 
Roar87 said:
Women like being told they look nice in a normal way, why would this be offensive? It's concerning that you think you're not allowed to tell a woman she's beautiful lol
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I would consider it to be good "Risk Management" when all it takes is a single complaint to potentially ruin your life, and whilst that sounds hyperbolic, people have been sacked for similar things, then once your sacked your financials, house and family are now under stress, work colleagues won't talk to you any more, rumours spread around your industry so you're blacklisted, maybe it makes the press as well so now your family get hounded etc etc.

All these things have happened to people, so yeah, its 100% Risk Management, especially because the person making a complaint doesn't even have to have been the one that was given a compliment, but they can still report you on someone elses behalf, or worse they can just make up a lie knowing they'll be believed over a man etc.
 
ianh said:
I would consider it to be good "Risk Management" when all it takes is a single complaint to potentially ruin your life, and whilst that sounds hyperbolic, people have been sacked for similar things, then once your sacked your financials, house and family are now under stress, work colleagues won't talk to you any more, rumours spread around your industry so you're blacklisted, maybe it makes the press as well so now your family get hounded etc etc.

All these things have happened to people, so yeah, its 100% Risk Management, especially because the person making a complaint doesn't even have to have been the one that was given a compliment, but they can still report you on someone elses behalf, or worse they can just make up a lie knowing they'll be believed over a man etc.
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This wasn't at work, was it? Yeah I'm not randomly calling work colleagues beautiful who I'm not close to lol
 
I think there is no doubt the situation as legally gone further than it would do if it hadn't happened on live tv at the world cup final.

I don't think it's normal to be kissing people in celebration on the lips.

In my view he knew she was a lesbian and used the opportunity to kiss her.
 
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