I finally got my Q2 to a point where I can use it without getting a massive headache. I solved this with the addition of two items:
The Quest 2 Fit Kit - which gets me a larger facial interface
This mod on Thingiverse that adds 1mm to the IPD. The quest actually detects it properly and sets the screen position correctly. I'm guessing that internally it has the same gubbins that detects the position of the lenses as the Q2:
https://www.thingiverse.com/thing:4627924
I transferred my Deluxe Audio Strap to the Q2 and handed my Q1 to my son and we had an enjoyable evening playing Walkabout Mini Golf.