Legal sector?
The OcUK Relationship Counselling and Hugs Thread
- Thread starter mattyprice4004
- Start date
Nah financial. Must be the day for it.
Nothing new, ive been made redundant twice (once financial) and in a redundancy pool recently in the legal sector in Leeds
No not Leeds.
On the plus side date went really well (imo). What's the protocol for texting a bird after your date then?
There isn't one.
I text a few hours later or the following day to day I had a good time.
Yeah I'd say protocol with texts is one for one, and similar gaps. I hate this is a thing, but as most of us know, appearing too keen is the worst.
Replied to other posts below...
About the girls going quiet on you on online dating, it's going to happen, don't put all your eggs in one basket and get your hopes up. For example I had a 6 days run, everything was going fine and she just vanished! It's a brutal world and that made me give it up. It works for many, but be aware. In plus side, you don't want to be with people like that anyway!
Met my gf through social group not long after giving it up. Was also not looking when I meet her. Apparently that was a plus as I didn't seem needy. Been with her over 1 year now.much better situation than my ex so things can work out.
Drunken encounter with a girl.. More details!
Replied to other posts below...
About the girls going quiet on you on online dating, it's going to happen, don't put all your eggs in one basket and get your hopes up. For example I had a 6 days run, everything was going fine and she just vanished! It's a brutal world and that made me give it up. It works for many, but be aware. In plus side, you don't want to be with people like that anyway!
Met my gf through social group not long after giving it up. Was also not looking when I meet her. Apparently that was a plus as I didn't seem needy. Been with her over 1 year now.much better situation than my ex so things can work out.
Drunken encounter with a girl.. More details!
Yeh i ended up just throwing over a little WhatsApp message a couple hours later saying hope she got home ok, enjoyed the night hope you did too, speak to you tomorrow. Short and sweet.
See if anything further develops!
How come?
She is just massively hot and cold. One minute being all suggestive and sending me saucy snapchats, the next I won't hear from her for ages.
We video called on Sunday morning and I'd mentioned driving over and staying at hers, then going to work from hers on Monday. She said good idea but she's meeting her mum, wasn't sure on time, she'd check quickly and call me back. 2-3 hours and I heard nothing so I sent her a message asking if all was okay, read and no reply. Then 2-3 hours after she starts snapchatting me random crap. We video called again Sunday night but I didn't bring anything up, I just asked her how her day was and she said she'd been stuck at her mums for 5 hours waiting on dinner.
Back to normal chat on Monday, video call Monday night and we agree on this Saturday but needed to decide if I go to hers or her to mine etc. Call ended as she wanted to go have a bath and sort dinner. I messaged her a few hours later saying I was off to bed soon if she wanted to chat again, nothing heard till yesterday lunch when she sent some random meme. Random meme chat all yesterday as soon as I mentioned about Saturday and I felt it fairer that I go to hers (she'd already gone out of her way to meet me) she's gone quiet.
I get she might be busy or doing the cat and string thing but to go from video chatting every single night for minimum of 30 minutes (sometimes 2 hours) to going very quiet has me thinking that she just wants the attention and maybe a bit of fun. But then again why on earth would she have gone out of her way to meet me for lunch and why would she bother asking me if I am bothered by her age? So yeah anyway, I think it's going nowhere, that she just enjoys the attention and as soon as I mention definitive plans she doesn't know how to deal with it so shy's away. I'll try calling her tonight, see what happens.
And of course, she's just sent me a message with a meme, followed by 'of course I want to see you this weekend, I'm at work but I'll catch up with you in a bit'.
Sometimes I wonder if I suffer from slight anxiety disorder and/or Asperger's.
Sometimes I wonder if I suffer from slight anxiety disorder and/or Asperger's.
May just be thinking too much into it. What i have come to learn is that if you leave the ball in their court just let it be.
Whatsapp is a bugger though for sending yourself silly as you can see if they have read your message and when they were last online.
Case and point bird i met up with last night. Sent her a message a couple hours after we met last night and I can see she has been online plenty this morning but hasn't yet read my message or responded.
Im just going to leave it at that as i know she is at uni all day today till 6pm so will see if anything appears throughout the day but I'm not going to mither her. There's a fine balance between coming across needy and looking like you don't care. Just chill with it and go with the flow would be my advice!
Whatsapp is a bugger though for sending yourself silly as you can see if they have read your message and when they were last online.
Case and point bird i met up with last night. Sent her a message a couple hours after we met last night and I can see she has been online plenty this morning but hasn't yet read my message or responded.
Im just going to leave it at that as i know she is at uni all day today till 6pm so will see if anything appears throughout the day but I'm not going to mither her. There's a fine balance between coming across needy and looking like you don't care. Just chill with it and go with the flow would be my advice!
I feel like you need to be a little more scarce with your attention, not that you're going over the top, you just need to put the onus on her a bit more to get back to you, and if she doesn't then don't chase her up on it. Honestly the best thing you could do would be to ignore her a few of her messages like she's done to you, then get back to her later on. If you think it bothers you when she does that, it drives women mental.
Also don't doubt yourself with women, they do play games and make you question yourself.
Yeah I know what you mean. It's hard to describe the hot/cold thing, I should just chill out as she has given me all the pointers that she is really interested, so if she doesn't reply I guess it's as simple as she's busy.
I'm tempted to turn off Whatsapp last seen and read messages.
I was going to ask how it went! Uni, how hold is she you sly dog!
I think we can all sympathise there my friend. It's not healthy to be checking constantly. I used to just purposefully leave my phone somewhere then go play a game/go to the pub or something and just forget. Still do that now actually, drives the lady friend crazy as I don't reply for hours at a time xD
That's the plan, after her final message I won't reply till she gets in touch, knowing her the catch up in a bit comment means she wants to video call tonight.
@Chris, i suspect you're thinking about it too much. Also being at the age of 23, she's probably a little less certain of what she wants than you. I'm not saying the age gap is an issue, but you've gone through those years and know exactly what you want from a relationship, whereas she's only just entering those years.
Glad to hear your date went well.
And i absolutely hate WhatsApp for this. The old days of sending a text, you had to just go on the assumption that as soon as you had a reply they'd only just read it. Even with my own GF i can see she's read a message and has been online plenty of times since but hasn't responded, despite saying she's busy at work, and she only reads messages. It just makes you feel a little insecure about it all.
Glad to hear your date went well.
And i absolutely hate WhatsApp for this. The old days of sending a text, you had to just go on the assumption that as soon as you had a reply they'd only just read it. Even with my own GF i can see she's read a message and has been online plenty of times since but hasn't responded, despite saying she's busy at work, and she only reads messages. It just makes you feel a little insecure about it all.
Guilty as charged, I over analyse pretty much everything, especially with women. The more I do it, the more anxious I feel. Going to the gym last night helped a lot, just need to occupy my time more I think.
Haha it's a bar steward isn't it! Turns out she has just replied but a completely short and simple message with no acknowledgement of last night! Women are strange beasts!
I'm tempted to turn off Whatsapp last seen and read messages.
I was going to ask how it went! Uni, how hold is she you sly dog!
Thats not a bad idea really but i like to know when someone has seen my message
Yeh, she works full time but her employer are putting her through Uni 1 day a week so she's not a proper wee Uni nipper. Shes still younger than me though.
Thanks mates. It went well in the fact that it felt like we got on well and had a laugh talking about stuff etc. There was a bit of touch between us, we sat close together, lots of eye contact, she sat leaning in to me mostly and played with her a hair a lot whilst talking to me. Usual text book signs that a a woman isn't having a bad time hahah!
Pecked each other on the cheek and hugged at the end which was slightly awkward as we had to do that and say out goodbyes on a busy tram! Haha!
Eughhhh. I loved dating, but that first goodbye was undoubtedly the worst part of it all. The mental gymnastics that take place in those last 10 minutes often brought me to my knees when I returned home after. I used to just leave it the first time round and then make a big jokey statement about kissing them if I was lucky enough to get a second date.