I know. I know at end of the day if we split I'd be OK, in fact I'd be great. But her? I feel sick thinking about it.
If she became medically better everything would be OK. This isn't good. Because... Life happens.
Its really made me self evaluate if I should be in a relationship. This isn't a self pity point. It's realistic. If you can't cope with someone at thier worst, and it can happen to anyone... Should you really be in a relationship?
I've always known I can't cope with kids. But feel. I am In that very situation. Looking after a dependant.
2023 terrifies me. If I'm honest. I have no idea where I'll be at year end. Where we will be. It's hard to be excited by anything or motivated. I know depression well and although I'm. OK at the moment (I can get myself up, go. To work, go kayaking) I very much feel the pull down growing.
I would not say depression is only active when you cant get to work etc, it has other forms and impacts on your life. Its good you have a hobby where you can separate and go off and work on yourself or a bit of fun for yourself.
You clearly love your partner still, but their medical situation has a great deal of stress on yourself and has impacted the relationship in a way where it clearly does not feel like a fulfilling relationship for yourself.
If you choose not to look after someone when they are at their worst, I wouldn't say you are not meant to be in a relationship, but a long term relationship with marriage potential, may not be for you.
From what he has posted, the partner is equally to blame though.
Yeah it might be a joint thing where they have grown apart, one of them might be okay with it and enjoys the comfy relationship without the hangups of acting like they are in a honeymoon phase still.
Who knows apart from the poster.
Oh I know, and yes saying it out loud (albeit on the internet) does help make it a bit more real.
But I can't do it before the interviews as I'll potentially end up jobless and/or in the hospital. I'm already 80% the way to a nervous breakdown, I need to be able to do things in a certain order to keep myself above the water.
Completely understand the need to look after yourself, but as someone who's been on the receiving end of what you are to deliver, a chat sooner would have been better and less harmful on to myself.
Maybe a relationship is not for you for a period of time, as you have to come first currently. Where as typically in relationships, you need to worry about the others well being too. I dont want to come across as an attack on you, thats not my intention but there is more people than just you involved right now.
For ref, I may be single and that but I cried my eyes out last night out of loneliness and unhappiness with how life and relationships have gone and where I am today (coupled with a broken boiler for past 9 days probably isnt helping)