Could be, I suppose.
The OcUK Relationship Counselling and Hugs Thread
- Thread starter mattyprice4004
- Start date
Soldato
I'd send the link to my ex but I get on with most of my ex's.Kind of on topic in a tangential way...
I'm divorced, single and share childcare of only child 50/50 with my ex. She's remarried (recently).
ex is away with the child for a weekend.
Being single I occasionally peruse websites where one may find a bit of fun... I haven't yet
What I then stumble across is the new husband, newly created profile advertising his weekend of freedom and inviting anyone over for "a bit of fun" and I mean anyone.
What would you do...?
Even if I didn't that douche is bringing up your kid and is inviting random strangers over to the house by the sounds of it.
Not on. At all. I'd want better for my ex's.
100% she should know. Couldn't give a **** about the ex, but it's the child that will be living in this ticking time bomb of an environment.
However, you will not get any thanks and will be the bad guy if you are the one who is to grass.
Anonymous email/text to the Mrs and let them sort it out.
However, you will not get any thanks and will be the bad guy if you are the one who is to grass.
Anonymous email/text to the Mrs and let them sort it out.
Soldato
There's also a chance it's a known arrangement, so I'd tread lightly as you mention. But informing her definitely seems justified.
Anonymous will still likely be worked out who sent it but telling her direct is more managed - "I thought you should know what kind of man you've married and is now raising our child with you". Sure, she will be upset but ultimately will realise you weren't telling to score points over her
It's the manly and right thing to do - but i've seen this go wrong on several occasions.
Not the OP's fault, but the husband, the ex, friends etc - the common enemy is the OP. I wouldn't risk the relationship with the ex or the child over someone else's errors, but i would want them to know.
Soldato
It's not a dating site....
Gotta be careful, she could think you've made a fake profile to cause an issue etc etcKind of on topic in a tangential way...
I'm divorced, single and share childcare of only child 50/50 with my ex. She's remarried (recently).
ex is away with the child for a weekend.
Being single I occasionally peruse websites where one may find a bit of fun... I haven't yet
What I then stumble across is the new husband, newly created profile advertising his weekend of freedom and inviting anyone over for "a bit of fun" and I mean anyone.
What would you do...?
Do you know one of her close friends? Might be worth getting her to have made the discovery...
Soldato
Some of the pics were of... ermm... personal things!
Soldato
Were the pictures of feet in toe socks?
Still in contact with any of her female friends from when you were together and she still talks to? Could seek their advice with how best to handle it and share the blame if it doesn't go well. Would be better coming from an ally than an ex.
Still in contact with any of her female friends from when you were together and she still talks to? Could seek their advice with how best to handle it and share the blame if it doesn't go well. Would be better coming from an ally than an ex.
Soldato
I'm concerned that you went there first...
Yeah, coming to the conclusion a friend would be best.
Soldato
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- 21 Jan 2010
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Kind of on topic in a tangential way...
I'm divorced, single and share childcare of only child 50/50 with my ex. She's remarried (recently).
ex is away with the child for a weekend.
Being single I occasionally peruse websites where one may find a bit of fun... I haven't yet
What I then stumble across is the new husband, newly created profile advertising his weekend of freedom and inviting anyone over for "a bit of fun" and I mean anyone.
What would you do...?
Dress up as a woman, meet up with him and give him a good seeing to.
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Don
Apparently there's no need to dress up as a woman...he'll happily meet anyway
(I'm not serious BTW!)
Associate
And she's got a cat too. Dream woman.
Not really. Ghosting is just disappearing without an explanation. He told her what was happening and why.
I don't get why other posters are talking about "her decision" / her having a say? Why should she? It was nominally a friendship rather than a relationship. If he's decided what's going to happen her input isn't needed.
On the flip side, if she's offered a physical relationship she must not be repulsed by him so maybe a proper relationship could have happened, rather than this being an unrequited thing.
Finally discovered the main problem, lowered my antidepressants in January, and thought my lack of interest and confidence was physical rather than mental. Upped my dosage again Monday last week and have energy, positive outlook on life and more importantly my best friend back. She called me mid-week, we talked, I apologised, and we have come back stronger than before, there is hope when all seemed lost, also she saw me at my worst and is still there for me.
That's great, good luck with it.
Associate
Finally tackled the root cause of my problem, my friend always said no L word, after knowing her for 16 years and getting much closer in the last year, finally told her that she is that special person that walks into a person's life once in a lifetime. She is so open and honest with me, and I have been fighting myself over the what ifs about telling her my feelings. I did do it via a text but would've liked to have a face to face talk, no immediate block and the reply was "not sure what to say right now". All along I have been fighting how I thought she would react and bottling up my emotions for a year and repeatedly trying to push her away as I expected the worst outcome, feel surprisingly calm and that a great emotional weight has been lifted.
Sorry to be blunt but you are wasting your time with her. You have known her for 16 years, if anything was to happen between you, it would have happened a long time ago.
It's pretty clear it's a classic case of 'shes just not that into you'. Best thing you can do is cut off all contact with her, and move on.
This woman is literally stopping you from being happy with someone else. Find someone else that feels the same about you as you do about them. This one doesn't.
I have to agree with @A2Z If you generally like someone then you will both make it happen but not after 16 years!
Also I am going to be blunt, not necessary directed at you but other people reading this,
If you are on any form of SSRI's such as antidepressants then don't get involved in any relationships. You have more important things in your life to deal with and getting into or seeing a relationship isn't one of them. Please get your mental health addressed first, you be doing yourself a huge favor.
Also I am going to be blunt, not necessary directed at you but other people reading this,
If you are on any form of SSRI's such as antidepressants then don't get involved in any relationships. You have more important things in your life to deal with and getting into or seeing a relationship isn't one of them. Please get your mental health addressed first, you be doing yourself a huge favor.
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