The OcUK Relationship Counselling and Hugs Thread

TheMeekon · 20 May 2017 at 14:36

I would agree there is truth in that and I've spent the last 8 years doing that. It's never stopped me doing anything. Job, house, holidays, relationship etc but it has never gone. It has always comes back, one day I hope I will be absolutely fine with it.

This is not the kind of anxiety you get going on a bus. I'm talking about extreme crippling anxiety for no known reason. Well consciously anyway.

But what you going to do, as soon as you stop living then you are screwed. So I keep going.

My problem is the way that everyone is generalised under ' oh you're putting normal life stressors as anxiety"

RoboCod · 20 May 2017 at 15:27

Tefal said:
Second half of your sentence is litterally the advice the mental health team will give you

Indeed. Followed by what, an hour further of discussion and advice? I don't think it's as easy as "there there, try harder, do something else" which was my point and why I "lolled".

ARION · 21 May 2017 at 09:49

RoboCod said:
Indeed. Followed by what, an hour further of discussion and advice? I don't think it's as easy as "there there, try harder, do something else" which was my point and why I "lolled".

Hmm, I don't really think you have a point

Ayahuasca · 21 May 2017 at 10:08

I do believe too many people self diagnose anxiety now or get very easy diagnosis from their GP. People can be on prescription meds after a 5-10 minute chat.

Those who genuinely have it through chemical imbalances and their genetic makeup can't just try harder though, they could exercise, eat right, get plenty of sunshine and have an amazing career but it won't make it go away.

ARION · 21 May 2017 at 10:44

Ayahuasca said:
I do believe too many people self diagnose anxiety now or get very easy diagnosis from their GP. People can be on prescription meds after a 5-10 minute chat.

Those who genuinely have it through chemical imbalances and their genetic makeup can't just try harder though, they could exercise, eat right, get plenty of sunshine and have an amazing career but it won't make it go away.

I agree but I have not said people with the more serious forms of mental illness can just try harder - I was referring to the "anxiety bunch". My uncle was unfixable, he actually thought he was God or sometimes a worthy replacement for our then Prime Minister. No amount of trying harder would have solved that!

RoboCod · 21 May 2017 at 11:27

ARION said:
Hmm, I don't really think you have a point

That's fine, it doesn't really matter what you think

ARION · 21 May 2017 at 15:52

RoboCod said:
That's fine, it doesn't really matter what you think

words of a defeated man

RoboCod · 21 May 2017 at 17:40

Hardly, I just can't be bothered to debate a completely off topic matter with someone so child like and narrow minded on the whole issue. Plus, I really honestly don't care what you think!

Now be on your way oh mental health expert you.

ARION · 21 May 2017 at 19:12

RoboCod said:
Hardly, I just can't be bothered to debate a completely off topic matter with someone so child like and narrow minded on the whole issue. Plus, I really honestly don't care what you think!

Now be on your way oh mental health expert you.

Seems like you do care what I have to say after all. I don't really get how I've been narrow minded and child like, can you elaborate?

Anyway, I think my point has been made so I will go back to my lurker status.

Kol · 21 May 2017 at 19:36

Now now gents. This thread is going away from what its intention is. This discussion is helping nobody. I suggest we get back on topic.

Skillmister · 21 May 2017 at 19:57

Can I interrupt the arguing about anxiety for an on topic post?

My 2.5 year relationship is over

We haven't been perfectly happy for some months but my gf announced on Thursday she needed some space, then today broke it off completely. I'm pretty devastated as I thought we were in a position to work past our issues and it came as quite a surprise her saying she had had enough. Perhaps I've missed the signs as I've been extremely busy and stressed with work and studying recently. But anyway, despite me saying I am willing to try and work things out she isn't so its over. We've been renting off her parents so she's gone to stay at their house while I sort my **** out. Not got a whole lot of friends who I can count on for things as serious as living arrangements and all my family are in yorkshire so i'm in a bit of a pickle!

malachi · 21 May 2017 at 22:44

Sorry to hear that.

So what are you going to do?

Captain · 21 May 2017 at 22:54

Skillmister said:
Can I interrupt the arguing about anxiety for an on topic post?

My 2.5 year relationship is over We haven't been perfectly happy for some months but my gf announced on Thursday she needed some space, then today broke it off completely. I'm pretty devastated as I thought we were in a position to work past our issues and it came as quite a surprise her saying she had had enough. Perhaps I've missed the signs as I've been extremely busy and stressed with work and studying recently. But anyway, despite me saying I am willing to try and work things out she isn't so its over. We've been renting off her parents so she's gone to stay at their house while I sort my **** out. Not got a whole lot of friends who I can count on for things as serious as living arrangements and all my family are in yorkshire so i'm in a bit of a pickle!

Sorry to hear that, try and keep your mind focused, you'll be ok.

grudas · 21 May 2017 at 22:54

Skillmister said:
Can I interrupt the arguing about anxiety for an on topic post?

My 2.5 year relationship is over We haven't been perfectly happy for some months but my gf announced on Thursday she needed some space, then today broke it off completely. I'm pretty devastated as I thought we were in a position to work past our issues and it came as quite a surprise her saying she had had enough. Perhaps I've missed the signs as I've been extremely busy and stressed with work and studying recently. But anyway, despite me saying I am willing to try and work things out she isn't so its over. We've been renting off her parents so she's gone to stay at their house while I sort my **** out. Not got a whole lot of friends who I can count on for things as serious as living arrangements and all my family are in yorkshire so i'm in a bit of a pickle!

Make the best out of it! Shouldn't be too difficult finding a flat quickly. It's a pain but the sooner you move on the better it'll get

one thing for sure is to not try and chase her back. She clearly sounds like she's made her mind up.

Skillmister · 21 May 2017 at 23:22

malachi said:
So what are you going to do?

One of my mates has offered up his spare room so hopefully that should work out. He needs extra money and I'd prefer not to rent privately again so could be on to a win win..

Clov!s said:
Sorry to hear that, try and keep your mind focused, you'll be ok.

I'll have to, I have exams in 3 weeks time that I'm not ready for

grudas said:
one thing for sure is to not try and chase her back.

I won't be!

RoboCod · 21 May 2017 at 23:44

2.5 years in the grand scheme of things isn't a huge amount of time so without doubt you will look back in future, when you've been with your future woman for many more years than that and think "that was the past, I learned lessons, I'm over it".

Hope you feel better soon!

413x · 22 May 2017 at 00:20

2.5 is well into that commitment part but yeah you will move on quickly once you are able to sort yourself out (which is fine if it takes a little while)

Was with my ex for 6 years and is really strange, since being with my gf now it honestly feels like I have no memory of that 7 years. I dunno if it's a mental block, a bar memory or what. But it is very odd. I remember two or three events but that's it . Move on with life, don't contact her, remove her completely and in a year or two you'll wonder what that was about!

TheMeekon · 22 May 2017 at 12:54

Sorry to hear that Skillmister.

Strange isn't how it's everything to you when you breakup but then suddenly it all disappears and you wonder what the fuss was.

R.O.S.S.I · 22 May 2017 at 16:02

A couple weeks ago an old work colleague told me they were at a party with my ex's best friends mum not long ago and basically it came out in convo that the real reason my ex left me was because there was someone else.

No idea if its true or not but she has no real reason to lie about it so have asked to see my Ex tonight as I could do with hearing it come from her. I'm kind of hoping she says its true in a way as it will give me some closure on the whole thing, obviously it will be crushing to hear but i'll finally have some answers I never got and will join the dots up with a lot of things for me.

Thats if it is true. It might not be or she might not own up to it, I dunno. I've stewed on what to do for a good while now but i'm at the point where I just need to ask the question to her in person otherwise its going to really mess with my head for a long time.

Pretty sure she is seeing someone new too which only goes to compound what ive heard so will be interesting to see what her answer is.

ChrisD. · 22 May 2017 at 16:04

How long has it been? Maybe it's better just moving on, seeing her and bringing up those emotions won't do either of you any good. If she's done the dirty then you're better off without her anyway.