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The OcUK Relationship Counselling and Hugs Thread

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by mattyprice4004, Apr 23, 2012.

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  1. Steampunk

    Soldato

    Joined: Jun 1, 2013

    Posts: 6,053

    Lol at the double standards. Just because a woman wanted to sleep with you, it doesn't mean you have to, you man-*****! Maybe when you put out on a first date, they are thinking what a horn-dog you are who will sleep with anyone straight away. Maybe it doesn't make them feel special either?

    Fact is that it's different for everyone. For some people it's fine to have sex on the first date, for others they like the chase and the reassurance of getting to know someone before jumping into bed with them. Most people, men and women, are neither saints nor whores, but somewhere in between, and sometimes both. It's okay to be you regardless.
     
  2. 413x

    Capodecina

    Joined: Jan 13, 2010

    Posts: 15,848

    Location: Stamford

    This for me.

    No wrong and right obviously!
     
  3. malachi

    Sgarrista

    Joined: Jun 27, 2006

    Posts: 8,814

    Location: Earth

    For all the guys in this thread, if you go on a date with a female and they offer to sleep with you on the first date, we all know you would not turn it down! :p
     
  4. Ayahuasca

    Capodecina

    Joined: Apr 23, 2014

    Posts: 18,633

    Location: County Durham

    Conversation came up at work the other week and I was quite surprised, men calling women who sleep around mattress backs and they wouldn’t be with their current partners if they’d slept with anywhere near the same amount of people they had. The classic master key and lock line came up as well :D
     
  5. Bassmansam

    Wise Guy

    Joined: Nov 22, 2007

    Posts: 2,294

    The first sentence hurt my brain..
     
  6. Toasty

    Wise Guy

    Joined: Oct 21, 2002

    Posts: 2,433

    Location: Sunderland

    It’s a double standard of sorts but I doubt one that will go away for most normal people, men and women are just different and look for different aspects when selecting a mate.

    It’s very easy for a woman to get sex if that’s all they’re after compared to a man, almost any of them could go out every night and sleep with someone new if they chose. Not many men could say the same.

    I think most men have the view of its fine to shag the town bike but a very different thing to commit to them long term.
     
  7. 413x

    Capodecina

    Joined: Jan 13, 2010

    Posts: 15,848

    Location: Stamford

    Oh yeah totally. If you're a girl and have zero standards you could literally get sex every time you are out.
    But may as well charge if you you are like that.
     
  8. Vidar

    Mobster

    Joined: Dec 18, 2008

    Posts: 3,813

    Location: Liverpool

    Haha so true, I know I never said no if I was attracted to them. All it did is change my expectations.
     
  9. Roar87

    Mobster

    Joined: May 10, 2012

    Posts: 4,919

    Location: Leeds

    Your sole basis of that is because they waited with you? Women are more inclined to take things slowly with Men they want a relationship with so he doesn't think they're easy or whatever, it doesn't mean they haven't slept with a lot of Men on nights out or on first dates. Jesus how naive can people be.
     
  10. bakes0310

    Capodecina

    Joined: Oct 22, 2004

    Posts: 12,015

    Walked out in the middle of the night bags packed to a devastated fiancee. Not sure what I'm feeling, regret, numb, has this really happened. Not gonna sleep not sure if I've been a total idiot. She's texting me now saying she still loves me and wants me back.

    Merry Christmas.

    If any of your are about I would appreciate some wisdom right now.
     
  11. 413x

    Capodecina

    Joined: Jan 13, 2010

    Posts: 15,848

    Location: Stamford

    I'm around. Are you saying you left?
     
  12. bakes0310

    Capodecina

    Joined: Oct 22, 2004

    Posts: 12,015

    Thanks please stick around.
     
  13. bakes0310

    Capodecina

    Joined: Oct 22, 2004

    Posts: 12,015

    Yep I walked out my grandad picked me up in the night and just left.
    Needs to be changes from both of us but hers are alot harder than mine.
     
  14. Teh_Next

    Hitman

    Joined: Nov 3, 2018

    Posts: 599

    Location: The other side of The Gap

    See how it goes over Christmas.
    If it doesn't work out then fair enough. If she does love you it's worth a shot and even if she doesn't (reciprocal of course) you've at least mitigated what I imagine as being the worst time of year to break up.
     
  15. Hades

    Capodecina

    Joined: Oct 19, 2002

    Posts: 21,951

    Location: Surrey and London

    I was watching a youtube video of a guy I have followed for years recently. He's married now and happily so. But he told the story of an early relationship where he was engaged. Most of his mates congratulated him without much thought because it was the done thing. But one of his female friends simply asked "Aren't engaged people supposed to be happy?". He realised he wasn't and broke it off immediately.

    Deep down are you happy about the engagement or happy about breaking it off?
     
  16. 413x

    Capodecina

    Joined: Jan 13, 2010

    Posts: 15,848

    Location: Stamford

    Things only have a chance of changing if both parties really REALLY want to change.
    If one is doing it only when the threat to leave is made it isnt going to work.
     
  17. bakes0310

    Capodecina

    Joined: Oct 22, 2004

    Posts: 12,015

    Can I share with you guys what my issues are and have some partial advice, sorry it's late.
     
  18. 413x

    Capodecina

    Joined: Jan 13, 2010

    Posts: 15,848

    Location: Stamford

    Ill be up for half hour more
     
  19. Hades

    Capodecina

    Joined: Oct 19, 2002

    Posts: 21,951

    Location: Surrey and London

    Yes of course. But only if you're sober and won't regret it in the morning.
     
  20. bakes0310

    Capodecina

    Joined: Oct 22, 2004

    Posts: 12,015

    I'm sober, don't drink but I think I'll keep it to myself and sleep on the issues.

    She's still texting me might see her for an hour away from the house tomorrow.