I’ve had girls genuinely interested in me before but I didn’t give them a chance, need to feel that rush that a very pretty girl gives me. It makes my brain chemicals go crazy.
The OcUK Relationship Counselling and Hugs Thread
- Thread starter mattyprice4004
- Start date
Are you a troll? Seriously, if you're not please go and talk with your GP or therapist about the issues you're currently having.
You have a very unhealthy and painfully wrong view of women, sex and relationships.
I’ve already stated I have severe mental health problems, you can see things rationally and clearly but I can’t.
I’d love too, but she’d probably say no and I don’t want to get done for sexual harassment. If she really liked me she would have made it clear, I get the impression she doesn’t so I don’t want to risk coming across like a stalker.
Caporegime
Next time, try a “hello there” with a smouldering glare, just to make sure.
So you need to move on and stop thinking about this one.
There are literally millions of opportunities out there. And there will be.
Work on and invest in yourself first.
Soldato
@nlel1975 even if you take nothing else away from the last few pages, please read a few of the posts from @413x, @Scottland and myself, and realise that the grass isn't always necessarily greener.
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Soldato
- Joined
- 25 Sep 2012
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Have you even spoke to her before? For all you know she could a really good looking ladyboy.
First laid eyes on her in a mental health ward in 2018 when I was an inpatient and she was working as a HCA. It wouldn’t have been appropriate to ask her out. She was being paid to be nice to me. It was a safe environment and she didn’t feel threatened by me. In the real world it’s very different and I probably scare the **** out of her.
Just that chance meeting reminded me how attractive she was, I will forget her again as I have done for the last 4 years. I haven’t spent the past 4 years obsessing about her.
Soldato
Even in my position I can see both sides to this. One the one hand, where I'm at now I just want a bit of peace for a while on my own to 'heal' (sounds a bit cliche but...). On the flip side, I like and want to be in a relationship. Sharing some of that stuff, yes is hard sometimes - but it's what makes it all the more meaningful when it's being shared and you're working as a 'team'.
I'm no expert, far from it - but it sounds like @nlel1975 could do with a bit of coaching/counselling. Again, cliche I know - but being happier with yourself makes it much easier to cope with both being on your own and the risk of rejection.
My ex-girlfriend worked as a Nurse on a Mental Health ward, they aren't just "paid to be nice" to you, they are nice to you because they care about their patients. With that said I doubt coming from a professional background she would or could ever date a Patient, I think I'd leave this one alone.
Like I said I previously, you should speak to other women rather than focus on one.
Soldato
Yeah, I get what you're saying, I just think a significant part of peoples' "need" to be in a relationship comes from society essentially telling you you're a "failure" if you're single long term, but actually there's nothing wrong with it, and it can certainly have its benefits vs being in a relationship. There are pros and cons to both, but neither is necessarily "right".
Soldato
Yeah, absolutely agree with that. Kind of where I was coming from when I said about being happier with yourself. A lot of people feel like they should be in a relationship and it affects their happiness, and they become obsessed with the idea they're unhappy because they're not in a relationship. In reality you can be on your own and happy, or with someone and miserable. The 2 aren't directly linked, and as soon as you figure out how to decouple them - the better chance you've got.
I actually think part of that is how I ended up where I am. When I was younger I desperately wanted to be with someone. So when I eventually met someone, i probably missed some of the signs that it wasn't right - and it led to me 'covering up' a lot of the issues by my trying to please the other person - and not making myself happy in the process.
Yes it’s a numbers game, not sure I can be arsed with dating as I’m used to being single plus being mentally incapacitated. Occasionally cross paths with beauties who make me want to be in a relationship but they’re never interested and at best they try to make me jealous or beg them to love me.
Slightly have to disagree, removing what society says. We are animals, therefore its our biological need to be with someone. Nothing we want, it just is. Same with our need to reproduce.
No one wants to be that person who grows old and dies alone. But dont be with someone just for the sake of it, that also can lead down to a dark path.
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I basically did the same thing with my first relationship, because I was happy that someone (anyone) wanted to be with me I chose to turn a blind eye to a lot of red flags and bent over backwards trying to make her happy! That was a mistake and turned me into a suicidally depressed shadow of my former self.
Soldato
100%, I was there 18months ago and have been able to slowly recover from it fortunately.
Yeah, dating is definitely a numbers game for men, especially in the current era with online dating apps, women have so many options. If you're speaking to a girl, even actively, she probably is also speaking to several other guys. You have to be doing the same.
Yeah there was another inpatient in hospital with me who was into her as well, guess he was just as insecure himself. He was a tall fit lad with a girlfriend, he had no chance either. There was also a male member of staff who told her she was perfect. Big mistake never do that makes you look desperate just another insecure man.
Then another guy who’d been in hospital mentioned her out of the blue he obviously had a thing for her as well. When one of the female patients told her she had an admirer i.e. me she said “oh no not another one”
She also described herself as ugly, I guess she meant on the inside.
Soldato
You are overthinking it way too much...
It's a cliche, but it's true, there are plenty more fish in the sea
It's a cliche, but it's true, there are plenty more fish in the sea
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