All I’m saying is it’s not just me. Men are suckers for a pretty face.
The OcUK Relationship Counselling and Hugs Thread
- Thread starter mattyprice4004
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theres a major difference between liking a pretty face and going through 90,000 different scenarios and thought processes about what they think, what you think, what society thinks, what others think, what society thinks of others pursuing, I mean I could go on but im bored already.
Please continue on with your mental health journey and finding yourself, I dont think a relationship is the best route forward for you right now.
I’m just highly intelligent emotionally. A lot of people with mental health problems are highly intelligent.
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I'm confused why, in your post, you mention being insecure because you were attracted to her? It's normal to be attracted to a pretty woman, as a straight male, why wouldn't you be?
Also when she described herself as ugly, it's because she herself felt insecure, she may not feel attractive and think men complimenting her just want to sleep with her. This is why it's always better to give specific compliments that are meaningful rather than generic ones. Telling a girl she's perfect is a bit cringey, telling her that her hair always looks perfect is better. Compliments go a long way as long as they're genuine and meaningful, just don't overdo it to the point you look desperate or that it makes you look like you consider her to be way above yourself, even if you actually do.
That’s what I thought when he said it.
She's pretty and she showed you kindness and compassion - you may misintrepet this as having feelings for you when it is part of her role and nature.
Either move on or ask her out, nothing wrong with that if you are no longer her patient and then you will know either way. At least then you can move on.
I would personally leave it, but before you do anything, i would get your headspace in a better place first - concentrate on yourself for a little while.
Either move on or ask her out, nothing wrong with that if you are no longer her patient and then you will know either way. At least then you can move on.
I would personally leave it, but before you do anything, i would get your headspace in a better place first - concentrate on yourself for a little while.
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I'm not sure I'd agree you're emotionally intelligent. I say this because it seems you are incorrectly interpreting this girls actions motives and thoughts. You can't communicate with her and borderline obsessed I would say.
This is not emotional intelligence
You still haven't answered whether you go to the gym or not nlel1975?
What are you doing to progress your physical self alongside your mental self with the psychotherapist?
You need to forget about women and work on yourself first.
What are you doing to progress your physical self alongside your mental self with the psychotherapist?
You need to forget about women and work on yourself first.
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Can't say it's that expensive either, you don't need all the gear. I see some dudes come in in their rigger boots and high vis straight after work it seems, another in his flip flops
Although I'm not in a big "commercial gym" there are many cheap membership options available and a billion apps that will give you free routines to follow if you can't stump up the ££ for a PT/Coach.
It's £15 a month for the massive one round my way (Pure Gym)
Soldato
It's not for everyone, but from my own experience starting up at the gym from being almost at rock bottom; I feel so much better about myself. And I'm not talking looks or whatever either. I just feel more self assured and comfortable in my own skin. Plus the routine of getting something done helps too.
Thats the key thing men forget. They complain about feeling crappy being single etc but they never set foot in a gym or look at their diet. That's usually a good start, it will change your mindset.
Soldato
But it's not for everyone. Definitely worth trying with an open mind, but for some people it wont work - and they may be better finding something elsewhere. Doesn't have to be physical activity - but something that is both challenging in some way, and at least partially interactive if not social. I barely speak to anyone at my gym - but the fact its in a public space is enough.
The mind and body work as one, they both need each other to work properly.
If people think it's not for them, they need to do more research about it..
Ever tried going to a gym when you have shedloads of MH problems and CFS! Try it and get back to me!The mind and body work as one, they both need each other to work properly.
If people think it's not for them, they need to do more research about it..
Soldato
The mind and body work as one, they both need each other to work properly.
If people think it's not for them, they need to do more research about it..
I'm not sure that's quite true to be honest. Everyone is wired differently, and from what I've read not everyone get that 'endorphin' rush from exercise. I think telling everyone to do exercise (as an example) because it'll make them feel better is a bit of a naive viewpoint. Sure for many people it can and will help - but it's important to understand that everyone is different and being open minded into trying something that might help is far more important sometimes.
You are confusing what you feel and what you actually get from it, however you think you might be "wired"...
It's not even slightly naive, it's scientific fact.
The list is flipping endless.. Here's one random google if you're bored. Ways that exercise changes your brain
but I'm going to bed as I also need sleep at a sensible hour.
- Improved mood and decreased stress
- Increases your base level of dopamine
- Improved cognitive function
- Increased neuroplasticity
- Decreased risk of cognitive decline
- Increased growth of new brain cells
- Reduction in anxiety and depression
- Improved sleep quality
- Improved appetite regulating hormones
It's not even slightly naive, it's scientific fact.
The list is flipping endless.. Here's one random google if you're bored. Ways that exercise changes your brain
but I'm going to bed as I also need sleep at a sensible hour.
See my previous post. GET was proved to be a disaster!
Can't say it's that expensive either, you don't need all the gear. I see some dudes come in in their rigger boots and high vis straight after work it seems, another in his flip flops
Although I'm not in a big "commercial gym" there are many cheap membership options available and a billion apps that will give you free routines to follow if you can't stump up the ££ for a PT/Coach.
It's £15 a month for the massive one round my way (Pure Gym)
Ok that is cheap. I thought gyms were more 40 than 15!
I haven't been in 3 years. Just haven't got the time with the gfs health issues. But if I was single I would be back now. Simply as I know first hand how much difference it makes to both mental and physical health.
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Soldato
I think the type of exercise is also important. I can't stand gyms, can't think of anything more mind-numbingly tedious, but stick a pack on my back and I'll happily walk 30km to find the perfect hidden camping spot on a mountain, give me technical trail weaving through a heavy forest and I'll spend the day on my bike, chuck me in the sea with a board and I'll spend 2-3 hours catching waves until I'm so tired I can barely stand. Going to the gym might not be your thing, but that doesn't necessarily mean some other physical activity won't "do it" for you