It just isn't going to be GT5 is it?
I would like 20 cars on track, 800 cars, weather, day/night racing etc, but only if they didn't have to compromise on other areas.. PD/Turn 10/et al have to have compromises on features etc, and its the mix of features that us as consumers have to pick which suits us..
With regards to FM3 being arcadey and concerning you, I wouldn't worry at all.
They've announced improved physics, including advanced tyre deformation physics, and that is the main thing. Sure, they've added 'assists' to allow a wider audience appeal, but if you are clearly happy that GT5 (as an example only) has the ability to dumb things down for casual users, they I see no real difference.. they've expanded it both ends by the statements made so far..
Lets not forget that despite our own preferences for how FM2 and inevitably GT5P stack up against each other with regards to physics, Inside Sim Racing said FM2 edged GT5P on physics, and if FM3 is as improved as Turn 10 suggested, then I'm sure it's going to be also closely matched to GT5 when it comes out (assuming they up the physics somewhat themselves).
Graphics, I think all will agree that on a lot of levels, GT5 is always going to be the 'best'.. however, lets not do injustice to FM3, it still is a huge step up from FM2, and much much closer to GT5 on many levels and it's only taken 2 years! with the added feature of cars flipping (requiring modelling underneath the cars), user livery, full visual upgrades, and cube maps reflecting other cars, to make a song and dance about it not being 'the best' would be a little harsh.
I have some reservations myself, I would have preferred they had addressed some of the points you raised, but I am in no doubt (and lets see over the coming weeks), that this may well be on balance the 'definitive' car racing game on consoles this generation (See what I did thar
)
NFS Shift could be another good title for us hardcore racers.. I have been disappointed with Race Pro, which has the next step up in physics again, but sadly compromised too much on framerate (not even 30fps most of the time)..